Passwords - My Funny Elbow

For the past few weeks I have been completing applications on line for health care jobs in my target area of Southern California.  This is no easy task as there are multiple websites I visit; numerous hospitals throughout the southland, and each one seems to have its own unique way to apply, send links for resumes, and attach files.  Some want  PDF, JPG, Arcobat on a Tight Rope, type keystrokes, etc etc. 

You'd think that since I am able to administer appropriate medications, start an IV on a baby or elderly patient with dismal veins, or even clean poop off a bottom of a drunk ding-a-ling, the ease of remembering a password would not find me in a constant state of annoyance. Every website has a different way of going about it.  Some want capital letters, followed by smaller case, and maybe a number of two, and even a #(*^*%(%, and then a slight bellowing from the computer user when they realize that somehow the caps lock was left on somewhere through the timed execution. 

I applied for a college course last summer, in hopes of getting into  phlebotomy course at Ventura Community College.  The initial application took me well over 1.5 hours, and that was just so I could then apply for the only course I wished to take.  I think next time I venture out into the modern technology arena, I should probably sit through a computer class for dummies, just in case I have any questions.  And after all the wasted effort on the college application, I found out that I actually had to be present to stand in a line on registration day, and may or may not actually get into the course I needed.  I suppose if I lived only a short drive from Ventura, CA, the line standing might not have been so bad.  But, no course is worth an 1,116 mile drive, one way, and with sky high gas prices, and two days travel.  Shit, after all that time, I could take the darn course in my sleep.

George Constanza had it right when he thought about his password and what it should be.( BOSCO CODE)
Of course, BOSCO, is easy to remember and there are probably fools like me who have a hard time forgetting the one liners from Seinfeld yet search our foggy brains in vain for our own silly password.  I have every thing written down on tiny scraps of paper.  Half the time I forget what user name and password go for what social media.  One for health stuff, one for jobs, one for banking, email, yada, yada, yada.  Birthdays, anniversary, backwards spelling, question marks, asterisks,  and the list just goes on forever.  Why can't everything be easier?

Identity theft is big business.  On any given day, there are some dishonest blokes sitting in front of their computer screens making a mockery of the rest of us, who think we are, oh so clever, in our imaginations and ability to think of silly words like "Bad Dog", "Good Dog", and 1234*(&*%.  and then somehow link them to our personal information on a computer screen.  The other day I must have re-set my twitter account access three times.  Sure enough, I would then go to comment on something and realize I had forgotten the bloody word again.  Just how many demerit points does someone earn if they can't remember a password?  I started taking Omega 3 vitamins, and even B12 in hopes of energizing my brain.  Hell, half the time I can't even remember to take my estrogen, let alone the vitamins that claim to be brain charger.  Hm, well that explains why I am in a constant state of menopause.

What I really need is a vacation, a shovel and a good book.  A shovel you ask?  Well, this way I can plop myself down in my beach chair, prop up my book, and then simply dig a hole for all my treasures, and there is no need for an ATM and that password.

Crap, I have already lost my shovel!