Romancing the "Escort", Cartagena Style

I couldn't help myself.  With the recent headlines swirling around the debacle of love lorn,  lusty secret service members, I started thinking about the Michael Douglas film, "Romancing the Stone".  Bizarre scenes of a romance novelist making her way on the twisting, winding dirt roads of Columbia, with the hopes of reaching Cartagena with some treasure map.  What's wrong with people?  It's beyond reason that you can't go without sex, drugs and rock n' roll for a few days, while hanging out on foreign shores.  I am bemused and bewildered to say the very least.

The United States Secret Service per 18 United States Code § 3056 performs numerous details.  A review of those duties seems to be lacking the description and/or definition of keeping watch over "escorts" a.k.a. prostitutes.  Recent headlines now claim that the hooker wishes to be referred to as an escort rather than what she really is - a "lady of the night".   Good grief - If it quacks like a duck, walks like duck and swims like duck, then surely it must be a duck; a very expensive duck, perhaps even a golden goose that lays eggs.

The Secret Service was born under the former title of the Executive Protection Service in 1865.  Originally formed to combat counterfeit monies, the Secret Service has evolved over the past 150+ years to include the protection of the President and his family as well as other combating other frauds that may put the United States in danger.  So, thinking along those lines, perhaps one could include hookers in Colombia as part of that protection - and that would be a really far reaching presumption.  Personally, I doubt that the Secret Service have arms that long.

Don't get me wrong, I have to hand it to the Secret Service.  Their mission is no easy feat.  They put their lives on the line protecting the President, his family, the VP, etc.  Given my deep affinity towards the current administration, (the sound of retching can be heard right now) , they do their job, without prejudice...I don't think I could do the same.  When the FLOTUS wants to take another tax payer funded vacation, or wishes to head over to her local Target to buy some yoga pants and toilet paper, those agents tag along, protecting her ASSets.  Job well done, job well done! Bravo!

But why oh why, in the same fell swoop of providing protection to the President do they have the uncontrollable urge to frequent a call girl?  Surely, they have time off, and there must be an abundance of working girls in the United States.

Michael Douglas had the right idea of what to do in the hills of Columbia.  An exotic bird smuggler (the very same smuggler that a Secret Service member might be working to hunt out and bring to justice), minding his own business, trapping talking parrots, and rescuing Kathleen Turner from treasure map fiends.  Somewhere along the story line though, a few bad seeds of the Secret Service, made a mockery of protection and started to think with the wrong head.

Sarah Palin had the right line when asked what she thought about wayward agents "checking her out"....

Check this out... "YOU'RE FIRED".