So, friends with Irish lineage - what the hell to do with them? You gotta love 'em, well, mostly because they're of the fine line of Craic, which you can really only possess if you have Irish genes. The Craic that is - not the friend. Although truth be told, being Irish does give some of us a head start.
So, this fine Irish friend, who thought she was being funny (more like HILARIOUS), got her little fingers planted on her Internet keyboard and signed my name to B. Hussein Obama's mailing list. Oh the joy and frivolities she must have been having, as she was typing in my email address, giggling and thinking, "Oh, I'm getting Annie Mac good this time". It's insulting enough, and actually illegal, that some angry liberal (believe me folks, they ain't all loving, peace filled hippies)scratched the "R" off my ROMNEY bumper sticker on my car. A crime by the way - and when I find YOU - well watch out, I'm Irish and I am just going to mention the BOONDOCK SAINTS once.
Back to the mailing list. This cracker of the Craic entered my name to the list. I suppose she thought she was being clever. Well, here's where the story goes awry. Apparently, there are only wooden headed dummies working at B. Hussein Obama's re-election headquarters. For months I have tried, in vain, to get my name off their lists. First, I did the rational thing, which was to push the "unsubscribe" button. This did nothing. Wow, just like the POTUS' presidency thus far. Nothing. See, even his website propaganda is filled with lies. Then I actually emailed the website master and politely asked (I know some of you find that one difficult to imagine) to be removed from their mailing lists. No go. The emails keep coming.
They've been so much fun to read. At least a hundred. Do you know what it's like to push the "delete" button 100+times, and get no results? Again, it's just like Barry's presidency. NO RESULTS. I have felt a surge of female power, because Michelle Obama also sends me emails inviting me to events that will not cost too much; a couple thousand. Since I am one of the many UNEMPLOYED Americans unable to find a job right now, a couple thousand should be no problem at all. I can just pull it out of my ass, the $100k, I mean. In times of a recession, just where do these clueless pinheads think the money is going to come from? And quite frankly, eating a bowl of white rice and beans, which costs about .99, while watching Bill O'Reilly is more appealing than having to listen to windbag Barry O' at a dinner where the meal was prepared by one of those lucky "Dream Act" recipients.
Now, again, being Irish, we have luck. I find pennies on the ground from time to time. Pennies from heaven. Thank you God. You do hear my prayers. I'm not complaining, mind you, but a $50 might help a little bit more. But, if a penny is all you can give in this recession; rain, rain, rain! But, that Irish luck thus far has been unable to get me off this stupid mailing list.
Why, just the other day, I saw that I had over looked an email from Sarah Jessica Parker. I thought she was busy with SEX IN THE CITY and making Patenene commercials. But no, Sarah (since she has my email address, we're on a first name basis) was inviting me to her house for a dinner date with Barry. Oh, the joy and elation of getting that invitation. Next thing you know, I might even get invited to her next colonoscopy or rectal bleaching. SO, I ask myself, "Annie Mac, should you have gone? If you had that kind of money would you have gone to your new BFF's house for $100k, and had an overcooked meal with Barry?"
What THE HECK is this country coming to? Oh Lord please forgive me, as I have said a curse word. I take an Irish blessing for that one. Sorry. But, this mailing list is driving me nuts.
So, two days ago, in the state of mourning, and on some serious painkillers for my back, I wrote to Mrs. Barry O'Bunny and told her that if she got my name off the mailing list, I'd dip my hair in a vat of acid. Can you believe that? Now, for those who do not like me - the list is simply too long to mention, doesn't the mere image of my head in a vat of acid sound like something fun? Apparently, Mrs. O'Bunny and I must be "friends" now. That's how her emails are addressed to me..."Dear Friend".
I am not quite sure what my next step is. I've been unable to locate a phone number on any of these emails. And the "contact us" site has just stirred my loins into getting even more emails. It also managed to get me the BFF Sarah invite.
This whack job, O'Bummy, who apparently has failed to keep any of his hope and change promises is now haunting me. It's a morning ritual: A cup of coffee, Fox & Friends on the tele, and emails from my friend Barry.
Oh wait, I forgot that other morning ritual that involves a flush. Maybe that will work. Cheers folks!